Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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