I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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