Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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