i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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