i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
