remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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