This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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