But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
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my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
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Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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