If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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