Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
