Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
