I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize