So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
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If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
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Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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