Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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