He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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