oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize