Are you guys doing anything tonight?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.