her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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