paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
love makes seman taste better
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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