Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
