actually, I'm a sock model
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
