The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize