Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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