shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize