So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get