Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
