i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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