The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
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Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
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