Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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