Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I need moral support for this bender
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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