You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.