It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!