i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am spending my child support on dildos
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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