Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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