I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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