its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize