I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Your cock deserves a montage
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
