i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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