I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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