There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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