I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
