Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize