I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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