ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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