So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
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I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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