sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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