Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
