I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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