listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
