Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
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5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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