Are you dead
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.