I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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